Focus on blessings but be aware of the challenges
Parents react with shock, delight, anxiety, panic, and apprehension when they learn that their baby will be twins or multiples. While grandparents may have the same reactions as parents, grandparents can be more anxious because they are often champion worriers. However, grandparents who have had to grandparent multiple children or twins report that they enjoyed the experience, despite the difficulties. These are ten common-sense tips for grandparents who face a particularly grand adventure.
While some grandparents-to-be will love books about multiple experiences, others prefer the Internet. A website that covers multiples and twins is a great resource. It is highly recommended to visit a support group for parents of multiples or twins. However, dramatic stories tend to get the most attention. Stories about pregnancies or deliveries that do not involve major complications are less likely to get written up and discussed than stories about medical and physical problems. Use the Internet with caution and only trust reputable websites.
Parents know they will face challenges. It doesn’t help to dwell on these possibilities. Be concerned about the progress of the pregnancy. But don’t hover over or nag the mother.
It would help if you were prepared to help others
Grandparents who are working might be able to arrange for some time off. While twin birth dates are not easy to predict, grandparents can be helpful in the weeks leading up to and after the birth. Your daughter or your daughter-in-law may be placed on bed rest during pregnancy. Grandparents will have many options to help at that time.
Do not be afraid to tell them apart
Fraternal twins make up the majority of twins and are unlikely to look alike. Fraternal twins will not look more alike than their siblings. A third of twins are monozygotic or identical twins. However, monozygotic twins may have significant differences. You will be able to distinguish monozygotic twins if you are a grandparent. It would help to look for distinctive marks, such as a mole. These identifiers work only when the twins live together, so avoid using comparative identifiers such as one twin having darker eyes.
Accept the fact that parents may want to emphasize individuality
Many grandparents grew up in an era where twins were required to dress the same and often had similar names. Many parents have differing ideas today. The parents may have given their children different names and may not intend to dress them the same. Before buying toys or clothing identical to the one you already own, make sure to ask your parents.
Learn to Get to Know them as Individuals
Begin with the babies when they are young and take them on outings one by one if you live near. It is possible to take them all at once to let them stay overnight. This will make it easier than taking all the children. The parents also get to spend some time with the children. Be aware of the uniqueness of each child, but don’t compare them.
Do not neglect other siblings
Your twins and multiples should be given extra attention if they have siblings. Multiples and twins receive so much attention from everyone, from family members to strangers, that siblings can feel neglected. You will reinforce the message that all grandchildren are special with little gifts, overnight visits, and special outings.
Learn about Special Safety Risks
You will discover that caring for multiples and twins can present unique challenges. Multiples can be very close, and they work together, which allows them to accomplish tasks that one child might not be able to, like pushing kitchen chairs to reach shelves and cabinets. When one child is sick or has an emergency, the other children quickly learn to help.
Keep in mind that the Times have changed
We no longer believe there are good and bad twins or a leader and followers. We now know that the order of the babies leaving the womb doesn’t matter. A second idea that has been changed is that twins should not be allowed to attend school together. Many experts believe twins would be happier in the same classrooms until they are independent.
Be aware that every life is precious
Twins and multiples have higher mortality rates than single births. This is true for both before and after birth. Sometimes, a fetus can disappear in its early stages of development. This is known as the vanishing twin syndrome. Even in the earliest stages of pregnancy, parents will grieve for any lost child. Do not downplay the loss. You may be surprised at how much your grief can take you. If you feel the need, seek counselling or join a support group.